The following essay originally appeared in Bob Hoffman’s blog, “The Ad Contrarian.”
Grab some popcorn and a nice comfy chair and get ready for a three-ring clown show.
The government that has done absolutely nothing to protect the privacy of its citizens is going to waggle its farcical finger of hypocrisy at a company that has done absolutely nothing to protect the privacy of its customers. It’s gonna be the comedy hit of the season.
While the EU is ready to implement substantive restrictions on the unauthorized collection, sharing, and selling of personal, private information, all our government is prepared to do is give us a master class in insincere self-righteousness.
Congressional blowhards will be preening for the cameras and using Mark Zuckerberg as a piñata as they pretend to give a shit about consumer privacy.
These sanctimonious frauds have had a decade to do something about the unauthorized collection of personal private information, but they did nothing until they found out it affected them. When the 2016 Russian meddling and the Cambridge Analytica scandals broke and they realized that election campaigns — and their jobs — might be affected, they suddenly got all concerned about data collection.
This is after years of thwarting every substantive initiative brought to Washington to tighten up data collection abuse. For years Facebook has escaped its responsibilities by claiming it’s not a communications medium, it’s a “platform” — whatever the hell that means. And these bozos have bought this bullshit. If I were Zuckerberg I’d say, “Yes we’ve been negligent in the protection of privacy rights, Senator, but we don’t hold a candle to you bozos.”
Zuckerberg will be strung up for ignoring the privacy rights of hundreds of millions of people by clowns who have been ignoring the privacy rights of hundreds of millions of people. There’s no one to root for in this cage match.
Meanwhile, Zuckerberg and his team of PR hustlers have been going a million miles an hour this week sticking band-aids all over every imaginable leak in the Facebook plumbing. It seems like every half-hour Facebook announces another half-measure. This will allow Z to “prove” they’re doing things about security and privacy.
The cameras are rolling so everyone’s going to be double extra concerned about consumer rights. Gag me with a hoodie.
About the author
Bob Hoffman is the author of “BadMen: How Advertising Went From A Minor Annoyance To A Major Menace,” and “The Ad Contrarian” blog, which was named one of the marketing and advertising industry’s most influential blogs by Business Insider.
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