Great Britain should be ashamed. The 2012 Summer Olympics host country and London, the host city, were given the marketing opportunity of this or any other lifetime.
They had $40-million to spend on the Olympic opening ceremonies, as well as an eager television audience said to be in excess of 1 billion.
And what did they do? They blew it.
The 2012 Olympics opening ceremonies will go down in history as one massive debacle. This being the August Olympics, however, British journalists — and most American ones as well — were hesitant in the immediate wake of the catastrophe to flat out state that this nearly four-hour production fell far short of the smash hit we want an Olympic ceremony to be.
Sure, no one was expecting London to match the enthralling spectacle that Beijing delivered in its Olympic opening ceremonies in 2008. That was a magical evening that could only have happened in a place where money was no object, and where the organizers were eager to share varied aspects of an exotic, ancient culture with a curious world.
Instead, London should have opted for something clean and simple and stirring. Instead, under the direction of Academy Award-winning film director Danny Boyle, London went for ridiculous, tacky, weird and mind-bogglingly bad. Some called the show quirky and cheeky. If only.
It was a bad idea for Boyle to try to portray an abbreviated history of Britain — a land so rich in history, culture and so much more. The first couple of historical tableau were the most stupendously ill-conceived.
History evolution egments shockingly bad
We won’t soon forget the silly sight of peasants frolicking about on strips of sod that covered a large portion of the Olympic stadium as the floor show got underway. All of this, we were supposed to believe, represented pastoral England, hardly an aspect of British history guaranteed to fascinate an audience circa 2012.
But never mind.
All the sheep and their minders soon gave way to an even more deadly dull Industrial Revolution segment. Even as the poor peasants were still carrying off huge rolls of sod and faux wheat clusters in the background, hordes of laborers filled the stadium and giant smokestacks belching smoke rose from the arena floor. It was hideous — what with all those laborers trudging around with nothing to do but execute some dreary choreography .
A third tableau attempted to capture the zeitgeist of technologically-evolved youth in modern Britain. It was a muddle that once again quickly devolved into a chaotic scene of hundreds of youth boogying around as lights flickered and indecipherable images flashed on a house in the middle of the teeming masses.
Only once in the long, embarrassing slog was there a moment of genuine wit. That, perhaps not so coincidentally, came in a short filmed segment that Boyle undoubtedly was quite comfortable executing.
We refer, of course, to the brief sequence when actor Daniel Craig (who currently portrays James Bond in the movies) showed up at Buckingham Palace to escort Queen Elizabeth to the opening ceremonies. The way the Queen ever so smugly said “Good evening, Mr. Bond,” was brilliant. So much so that the world immediately dubbed the Queen, trouper that she was, the new Bond girl.
NBC struggled for post spectacle commentary
Throughout the entire mess unfolding in the stadium though, it was obvious NBC cameramen and the directors in the production truck were struggling mightily to find a way to fashion at least a few stunning TV pictures from Boyle’s opening ceremonies. But they couldn’t come up with any.
When the show finally ended, it was left to NBC anchors Bob Costas, Meredith Vieira and Matt Lauer to try to sum up what had just transpired. To no one’s surprise, all they kept referencing was that single moment with the Queen. No pastoral lads and lasses. No belching smokestacks. No young people prancing around.
The London Olympic opening ceremonies surely would have fared better had the organizers tapped someone from that city’s impressive array of theater directors — folk who know how to create live stage images — rather than a film guy who clearly didn’t have a clue.
But the damage is done now. Whatever those billion TV viewers did manage to take away from the jumble of a show that opened the 2012 Olympics, it certainly wasn’t anything destined to elevate the country’s image or compel people to visit.
Chicago may never get the chance to stage an Olympic opening ceremony. But if it ever does, the organizers would be well-advised to look back at this Olympic tragedy if they want a brilliant example of what NOT to do when staging an Olympic opening ceremony.
